My uncle Periklis (cf Περικλής = Pericles) died yesterday at the age of 86. Longevity comes at a price - he managed to live long enough to see great-grandchildren, but he had also been bedridden for the last couple of years. At the wake, I was surprised to see that, even in his coffin, he still looked similar to the younger uncle I remembered. His face had not shrivelled or wrinkled; save the waxy white look of his skin, I saw the man I remembered in better times. Not even his wife Athina (cf Αθήναι = Athens) looked old and withered - she is from Sfakia, which may explain why she still looks strong and astute.
Periklis and Athina - they are such ancient names; they are the same names of my ancestors who laid the foundations of modern Greece. My uncle's name (and that of his wife's) continue to be heard - grandchildren have been named after them, in the same way that my ancient ancestors named their own children after their favourite Greek heroes.
A common wish of the Greek old or dying is to request to be buried in a specific place. Uncle Periklis specifically stated that he wanted to be buried in the family grave, where his parents and siblings were also interred, close to the village of his birth. The last person to be buried in the family grave was his brother - my late father. This means that the grave must be opened up with the permission of the next of kin of the last occupant, whose bones must be gathered together to be placed in a corner of the grave, before the next coffin enters.
This centuries-old tradition is carried out by the next of kin of the last occupant of the grave, which in this case, is me. A priest is present when the concrete slab (made of three different pieces, concreted together) below the marble covering of the shallow grave is lifted, revealing the bones of the former occupant. The priest then chants a blessing, and the next of kin (or an assistant while they are present) gathers the bones together, washing them in wine, before placing them in a pillowcase (or cardboard box) and moving them to the side.
The washing of the bones in wine is also my last connection with the family grave. Responsiility of its upkeep will now fall on the next of kin of the new occupant: they will come at regular intervals to clean its exterior and light the kandili (oil-burning lamp) on the headrest, occasionally adorning it with garlands of flowers.
It is possible that Uncle Periklis will be the last person to be interred here, even though it's usually the case that the spouse of a male is also buried in the same grave, so that the couple remain together in life and in death. However, his wife has specifically stated that she would like to be buried somewhere else. As previously mentioned, she is from Sfakia, so she may be forgiven. But no one can say that she hasn't given him a good send-off - Athina is a professional dirge singer. Death gives her life. No relative's or fellow villager's funeral has escaped her lamentations (she also did a good job at my father's funeral).
The tradition of washing the bones of the dead in wine has an overwhelming nature; some people are not able to perform it because of the feelings that it arouses. But those who do manage to perform it also get a sense of satisfaction from the knowledge that they have done their duty, by taking part in an ancient ritual that links their own life with the death of their predecessors. By being able to have this done while I am present, I am connected to my ancient past, preserving a rite of passage in almost the same way that it was performed since antiquity, thereby extending my roots into the earth, just like the olive tree that defies death even when it is uprooted.
For an explanation of the photos, click on each photo in this set.
©All Rights Reserved/Organically cooked. No part of this blog may be reproduced and/or copied by any means without prior consent from Maria Verivaki.
Periklis and Athina - they are such ancient names; they are the same names of my ancestors who laid the foundations of modern Greece. My uncle's name (and that of his wife's) continue to be heard - grandchildren have been named after them, in the same way that my ancient ancestors named their own children after their favourite Greek heroes.
A common wish of the Greek old or dying is to request to be buried in a specific place. Uncle Periklis specifically stated that he wanted to be buried in the family grave, where his parents and siblings were also interred, close to the village of his birth. The last person to be buried in the family grave was his brother - my late father. This means that the grave must be opened up with the permission of the next of kin of the last occupant, whose bones must be gathered together to be placed in a corner of the grave, before the next coffin enters.
This centuries-old tradition is carried out by the next of kin of the last occupant of the grave, which in this case, is me. A priest is present when the concrete slab (made of three different pieces, concreted together) below the marble covering of the shallow grave is lifted, revealing the bones of the former occupant. The priest then chants a blessing, and the next of kin (or an assistant while they are present) gathers the bones together, washing them in wine, before placing them in a pillowcase (or cardboard box) and moving them to the side.
The washing of the bones in wine is also my last connection with the family grave. Responsiility of its upkeep will now fall on the next of kin of the new occupant: they will come at regular intervals to clean its exterior and light the kandili (oil-burning lamp) on the headrest, occasionally adorning it with garlands of flowers.
It is possible that Uncle Periklis will be the last person to be interred here, even though it's usually the case that the spouse of a male is also buried in the same grave, so that the couple remain together in life and in death. However, his wife has specifically stated that she would like to be buried somewhere else. As previously mentioned, she is from Sfakia, so she may be forgiven. But no one can say that she hasn't given him a good send-off - Athina is a professional dirge singer. Death gives her life. No relative's or fellow villager's funeral has escaped her lamentations (she also did a good job at my father's funeral).
The tradition of washing the bones of the dead in wine has an overwhelming nature; some people are not able to perform it because of the feelings that it arouses. But those who do manage to perform it also get a sense of satisfaction from the knowledge that they have done their duty, by taking part in an ancient ritual that links their own life with the death of their predecessors. By being able to have this done while I am present, I am connected to my ancient past, preserving a rite of passage in almost the same way that it was performed since antiquity, thereby extending my roots into the earth, just like the olive tree that defies death even when it is uprooted.
For an explanation of the photos, click on each photo in this set.
©All Rights Reserved/Organically cooked. No part of this blog may be reproduced and/or copied by any means without prior consent from Maria Verivaki.
So interesting...I think this should be done here in America, too, but I don't think it is...seems like it would be a great way to save money and space. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteΖωή σε σας Μαρία μου. May you live to remember him.
ReplyDeleteI remember participating in this ritual with my grandma when she removed the bones of her father out of the grave. I must have been 9 or 10 yo and in the summer holidays in the village I used to follow my grandma everywhere to every wake and funeral so it was quite natural for me to be present. We actually washed them with TIDE before washing them with wine. It was a great way to be close to the idea of death through all these rituals. Now I avoid funerals altogether and I dread the idea of ever having to do that.
it is worth noting that before i went along this morning, i was told that i have to wash the bones, etc etc, but in actual fact, we now have assistants for this, and even greeks are getting squeamish about performing the tasks themselves - still, it was interesting to watch the whole process and be a living part of it
ReplyDeletewe also went to the funeral afterwards, and people were surprised i took my children - surely seeing an old papou looking like he was asleep was not really traumatic, and anyway, dont we all have to go to a funeral some time in our life, so we need to go to our first one at one point!
The number of funerals I attended as a child in one summer was more than those I have been to in the last 20 yrs. We loved kolyva, the little chocolate olives and the atmosphere that sth important was going on and we were part of it. So innocent.
ReplyDeleteYou should read " The death rituals of rural Greece" by Loring M.Danforth ,its one of the best books on the whole Greek funeral.
ReplyDeleteA wonderful post, Maria. Sad but very interesting. May his (and your father's) memory be eternal!
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, Maria. You never cease to show me something entirely new. I really enjoy learning about your culture, specifically the culture of your island.
ReplyDeleteI never went to a funeral until I was over 40 years old! A wonderful young man who I had known since he was 10 was killed in a rollover accident during a night of drinking and carousing. His was the very first dead body I have ever seen, actually also the last. I touched him and he was very hard and, of course, cold. I needed to do that to be able to understand the reality. I absolutely adored him. It was a Mexican funeral and at the cemetery it is customary for the mother to scream and cry as the first shovel of dirt is dropped onto the coffin. I was not prepared for that. The mother of the dead boy is a very good friend of mine, as are all of his siblings.
I have not had another funeral to attend since that one, thank God.
Thanks Maria, I've been to several funerals here. I find traditions in life and death very interesting. We (my Welsh Family) still have our close family members at home , in an open coffin The main difference though, is, a funeral is usually approximately 7 to 10 days later.. My youngest brother lost his wife 8 years ago, the whole extended family stayed with him in the house and his wife, was in the conservatory, in an open coffin, so we could spend time with her, talking , and squeezing small gifts around her in the coffin...
ReplyDeleteTake care
Jude
funerals are not happy times at all, but in the case of my uncle, it was almost a celebration of a long full life
ReplyDeletei've never had to go to a funeral of a young person, although we've had a number of deaths of freinds' children (due to motorbikes and not wearing crash helmets) - they must be very traumatic